Some days I am full of joy and energy and some days I feel incredibly down, heavy and depleted.
Some days I grin at every person, every bird, every flower I pass and say a blissful hello.
Some days I can barely bring myself to get out of bed.
I’ve been accustomed to being open, active, and visible only when I’m feeling my best.
This means when I’m low, I have often weathered these storms completely on my own. While it’s happening, most people don’t even know I’m going through anything at all.
And I will tell you — this gets incredibly lonely and isolating. This makes things feel hard to bear. This holds me back from opening to what I desire when all I'm really looking for is connection.
In these moments, this is what feels like it’s lacking. This is what I crave more than anything. And yet? This is the very thing I am holding myself away from when I stay silent and withdrawn.
What if I showed up to greet life no matter how I was feeling or what phase of my journey I am on?
What if I allowed myself to be vulnerably, openly imperfect in all these moments?
What if I allowed myself to be seen and held right now, rather than waiting to feel or be “better” than I am?
What if I stopped waiting for things to change and simply opened myself to all I already am? The raw, the real, the messy, the brilliant, the inspired, the lost, the found, the sad, the lonely, and the joyful?
What if I recognized the absolute perfection of my true form in this and every moment?
That sounds like a breath of fresh air.
Why have I kept myself locked away when all I have ever wanted is to breathe deeply into all the love and connection this world has to offer?
It is right there at my doorstep, begging to meet me.
I see it now.
The door is wide open.
The only step left is to walk through.
Tawny
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